Typing on my laptop right now, and listening to Mr. Robinson snoring in the background. Whenever he falls asleep before me, I get to thinking. This was a strange weekend. A weekend of finality. Is that even a word? I'm not sure.
Our ridiculously AWESOME friends threw us a going away party on Friday. The spaghetti was flowing, children running around the abundant space of our friend's home, bouncing on rubber balls and bean bags. Everyone was chit-chatting, laughing, telling hilarious stories about strange goings-on in Walmart. And I looked around and thought, "I am going to miss these people so much." You really cannot replace friends. You can make new ones. But the ones you have make an imprint on your soul, and they stay there, with their own little place. And you take them with you wherever you go. I'm carrying alot of friends with me to Arizona. And they'll keep me strong, when I feel lonely.
On Valentines day, we had a showing. It went really well. And I keep having faith that maybe something will come of this one. But even if it doesn't, and my husband leaves in 7 days without an offer on our house it will be okay. Because the Lord is taking care of us. Of me. One day at a time.
While I sat in my bedroom waiting for the prospective buyers to arrive, my new cell phone rang. It has the most musical ring. I really like it. But not as much as I'll like the ringtone I'll someday get around to downloading.
It was my sweetheart, with some news. My in-laws had driven 4 hours down from Idaho, and wanted to spend the day with us. What a treat. I didn't know if we would see them before Craig left. And that felt, wrong. It was good for my children to love-up on Grandy and Grandma Shannon.
Then I picked up our favorite babysitter, so the adults could go out to dinner. She had a little valentines card all made up with candy attached for the kids. And I thought, I just love this girl. I hope I can find a babysitter as good as her in Arizona. And that felt, final. She tended my children marvelously, helping Carter glue together his hippo Valentine, popping them popcorn, getting them in their jammies. I was jubilant when I came home to 3 happy kids. And I wondered again if anyone could replace Ariel.
When the babysitter was gone and dessert eaten we took a couple pictures, and then said goodbye to my in-laws. I swallowed hard, so I wouldn't cry. And we watched them climb into the car and drive away. And it felt, final.
On Sunday, Hannah gave her first talk in primary. She was amazing. We spent two days prepping her telling her to talk nice and loud into the microphone. Boy and how, that wasn't a problem. She spoke perfectly clear, mouth right up on the micro-phone and it was SO loud that several kids were plugging their ears and I'm 99 percent sure you could hear it all the way down the hall. I laughed, because it was darling.
Mr Robinson wrote the talk. It was about how the Priesthood blesses our family. It felt appropriate. And I sat there watching my righteous husband whisper the words of her talk into Hannah's ear, and it made me think about how empty it will feel in our house when he is gone. About what a blessing he is. About how I only had one Sunday left with him. And it felt, final.
Today, my fabulous family drove down to hang out with me. It was, just so nice. When Mr. Robinson got home from work, we went to eat at the Olive Garden, our favorite restaurant. We ate and talked and snapped pictures on our phones. My big sister figured out how to use my phone for me. The we got our coats on and went outside. And I watched my family say goodbye to my husband. And this time when I swallowed hard it didn't stop the cry. And my Dad gave me a big hug and told me they would take care of me when my sweetheart was gone.
So we got in our car and drove home, and I held his hand and thought about how much I want to enjoy every second of the next 7 days with him. Because when he goes, he's gone. Until I can join him. And that feels so, final.