More me.

I learned how to relax again this weekend. That sounds really weirdly bizarre, but it's true. I didn't realize until this weekend, when nothing could bother me, that I had completely forgotten how to relax for the past... well a long time, anyway. Stress has been the theme of my days, and in consequence my life, for far too long. And for no good reason, it seems. This weekend something happened. Something and nothing. Nothing substantial happened to create this change, but there was a change. On Saturday I felt, great. I felt totally relaxed. I had a mountain of school work, a house that needed cleaning, a husband who was in class half the day, three antsy kids, and somehow nothing bothered me. I drifted around getting things done, and feeling like life was pretty darn good. Then the hubby got home and I found that the same stress less state had ballooned out to enclose him as well. He was somehow equally relaxed. The feeling extended into Sunday, which is usually a very stressful day, and I discovered how delightfully restful it can actually be if you let it.

Hannah is off school this week for fall break. I woke up at five a.m. (which is when I usually go running) and my back hurt really bad. I went back to bed. Craig went to work and I slept, in. It was so nice. I didn't have big black circles under my eyes when I emerged from the covers at 8 o'clock. I thought those were going to start to be a permanent fixture. My kids slept in too. The little darlings, they were tired too. Hannah woke up at 8:30, Carter at 9:15 and Ethan... he's still asleep. It's 10 o'clock. I did my reading for class and edited a short story of mine a bit, and now I'm writing this blog. I am so relaxed I'm wondering if there is somebody else inside my skin. Is it possible? At the same time, I feel more like myself than I've felt in a very very long time. And that, my friends is a good feeling.

ps. my second born turns 4 tomorrow.