Monday, June 23, 2008

bath nazi

I have a small suspicion that I am a little obsessive compulsive. This is especially manifested in my morning routine with my children. In fact, I think I'm a bit of a bath Nazi. I don't know exactly how early I came to believe that children need a bath everyday. I'm pretty sure it was instilled in me by my mother, she was a bath Nazi as well (in a good way). In fact, I have trouble remembering a single day of my childhood where I didn't have a bath. This may seem extreme, but I don't really think it is. We all know that adults and teenagers need to bathe everyday, can you say B.O.? And yes, children do not get B.O., but they still get dirty. In fact they get filthy... let's take an inventory shall we? They sit in their own poop and pee. Can you imagine sitting in your own feces and then Not bathing? They play in the dirt, and occasionally walk through dog poop (sick). Have you ever watched a toddler eat pancakes? Babies spit up and get breast milk and/or formula in every little nook and cranny between their chin and their belly button. Kids that are potty trained don't wipe all that well. I mean, come on, their hand barely even reaches back there, how can they possibly get all the remnants off? Still not convinced? Check behind their ears, in their fingernails, between their toes. Occasionally I'll catch Hannah with a strand of hair in her mouth, sucking on it. Yeah, sucking on her hair. Nasty, and I remember doing it as a kid. Kids get sweaty, really sweaty. Have you ever pulled them out of their car seat on a hot afternoon? Think about all the moments you catch your kids getting into something gross like the toilet. Remember how you shrieked, as you watched them stick their hands in their own poop filled diaper? Now think about all the times you didn't catch them, ug.

There are usually two reasons I don't bathe my kids, which maybe happens twice a month. 1. I'm late. Baths seriously add an extra hour and a half. 2. I'm lazy. And it's never worth it. I spend the day feeling vicariously sticky.


Katie said...

You are hilarious Cori! Such great insights...I LOVE reading your blog!

Maran said...

I totally agree with you on baths. I have to give Hannah a bath everyday. Sometimes she takes them twice a day....once with me in the morning and once before her bedtime. Although, I have a hard time actually taking a bath now...maybe because our tub is really gross and I know that there have been several people before us who have bathed in it. That's really gross to me, so I always take a shower. Someday when we have a brand new jetted tub I will actually take a bath:)

Roger and Amy Ann Deming Family said...

I believe in being a bath nazi as well. I think if kids are sitting in their diapers all night, no matter how much powder you might use, it doesn't completely take that smell away! My kids have become accustomed to morning baths since before I can remember and now that summer hit it is amazing how filthy they get. So, in other words, I concur! And the time it takes to bathe decreases the more you do it. I think I can do it all in 20 minutes flat,which makes it so worth the trouble. However, I also have two that dress themselves and I still shove all three kids in at once! When #4 gets here in September this will all be disrupted and I will be back to an hour with you!

Marc and Stacy said...

I agree with you as well. I didn't know how I'd be, because my mom was not a bath nazi. I mean, we weren't dirty, but I don't remember getting bathed on a daily basis. But since being a mom, for me I have been bathed Montana on a daily basis. Well, I went a few months where I think it was every other day, but then when she started crawling, and walking, and eating alone and all that, oh, it was NECESSARY daily, if not twice a day. Now, I can't even imagine if I didn't bathe her daily. She would be caked in juice, popsicles, sunscreen, food...etc etc.
Sorry you missed your shower that day! That's frustrating! :) Great post!