gone

this morning I watched as my husband packed up his things, ate his breakfast, blessed me and the kids, and then climbed in his car and drove away. He won't see our house again. He doesn't live here anymore. And I don't really feel like I do either. Without him, these walls feel empty.

there really is only one man like this.

I sure am glad he's mine.

200th post.

This is my 200th post. That feels like an accomplishment, or at least a milestone. Hey, I'm a mother of three, I'm easily impressed. So I thought I'd celebrate this joyous occasion by documenting Carter's latest obsession. See if you can guess what it is. Happy Blogging.

May the force be with you.

ask.

At 8:00 last night we had our second showing of the day. I told Craig on his way home with the kids that this one was probably our most solid showing yet. They loved the house, the neighborhood, the BEADBOARD in our kitchen (the wife looked at it four times). I was hopeful.

At 9:00 this morning I got my kids out of the bath after a good scrub, rubbed them down with a towel and got them dressed. Then I took my little munchkins downstairs, put them in their chairs and cooked a quick breakfast. At 9:30 I sat down and we said a blessing over our hot oatmeal with raspberries, honey and cream, as we do every morning. When I prayed, I asked the Lord for someone to put an offer on our house, today. "We need a miracle, Heavenly Father," I said, "I'm asking for a miracle."

So we spooned down our breakfast, cleared our dishes, rinsed out the bowls, and I brought my kids upstairs.

At 9:55am I sat down on the carpet in my room and began combing Hannah's hair. The phone rang. It was a realtor, with a familiar name. In fact it was the same realtor from the night before, and the couple who had loved the beadboard wanted to make an offer on our house. A good offer. So I thanked him, told him we'd look forward to receiving the paperwork, and then hung up the phone and preceded to jump up and down, squealing and doing toe-touches for at least 3 minutes. Then I called my husband so he could join in the joy fest.

Tonight we have already counter-offered, they accepted and our house in now under contract.

I'm going to Mesa. Only 3 weeks after my sweetheart. And we've been praying that our house would be under contract, before he left.

This morning when I prayed I asked for a miracle.

And 25 minutes later, the Lord gave me one.


For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

Matt. 7: 8-9:11

My theories on Binky Breaking

I've noticed something about myself. I'm not as idealistic a mother after 3 kids as I was after 1. For instance, Hannah was potty trained early in her second year, and with Carter it took me until he was 3 to really get serious about it. Hannah wore a bib EVERY time she ate ANYTHING. Yeah, not so much with the boys. They both end up with little food stains on their clothes throughout the day, and I don't change them when they get messy. And I'm thinking, "do you know how much MORE laundry I'd have to do if my kids wore two outfits a day?"

Anyways, this brings me to binky breaking. I broke Hannah of her binky at 13 months, and it went fabulously. Carter was a teeny bit older, 15 months, but it went just as smoothly. I've watched several people go through the ringer with their kids and binky breaking. 2 and 3 and 4 years old, and still unable to sleep without the paci. Oh, I've thanked the stars that I broke them young because it was SO SIMPLE. Everything is easier when you do it young. Hannah potty-trained in about half the time as Carter.

So Ethan. He's kind of an anomaly because he never took a pacifier his entire first year and then found one and about 12 1/2 months, stuck it in his mouth and it's been a permanent appendage ever since. So now, he's almost 16 months. And with the house on the market, and Craig leaving I've kind of been making excuses for myself. "Oh, I just CAN'T handle doing it right now."

I like to think of it as a little more lax, or I guess lazy.

Ethan, by the way has a talent for losing binkies. And yesterday, the last one went missing. Craig took the kids out for the evening so I could do two showings on the house. On his way home he called me and asked if I wanted him to pick up some pacies. I took a deep breath and said no. Then I buckled up and got ready for some crying.

But it went okay. He cried a little more than usual. But then he went to sleep, and didn't wake up wanting his binky in the middle of the night, which was nice. He'll probably whine a little more than I'd like today. But then he'll stop and we'll move on in our binky-less life.

I think I've decided that it's better to bite the bullet now, than to deal with a big dependency later. And I'll be glad I did two months from now, or whenever, when we move and I don't have to deal with all the changes AND breaking the binky.

I'm sitting at my Grandmother's sewing table...

Typing on my laptop right now, and listening to Mr. Robinson snoring in the background. Whenever he falls asleep before me, I get to thinking. This was a strange weekend. A weekend of finality. Is that even a word? I'm not sure.

Our ridiculously AWESOME friends threw us a going away party on Friday. The spaghetti was flowing, children running around the abundant space of our friend's home, bouncing on rubber balls and bean bags. Everyone was chit-chatting, laughing, telling hilarious stories about strange goings-on in Walmart. And I looked around and thought, "I am going to miss these people so much." You really cannot replace friends. You can make new ones. But the ones you have make an imprint on your soul, and they stay there, with their own little place. And you take them with you wherever you go. I'm carrying alot of friends with me to Arizona. And they'll keep me strong, when I feel lonely.

On Valentines day, we had a showing. It went really well. And I keep having faith that maybe something will come of this one. But even if it doesn't, and my husband leaves in 7 days without an offer on our house it will be okay. Because the Lord is taking care of us. Of me. One day at a time.

While I sat in my bedroom waiting for the prospective buyers to arrive, my new cell phone rang. It has the most musical ring. I really like it. But not as much as I'll like the ringtone I'll someday get around to downloading.

It was my sweetheart, with some news. My in-laws had driven 4 hours down from Idaho, and wanted to spend the day with us. What a treat. I didn't know if we would see them before Craig left. And that felt, wrong. It was good for my children to love-up on Grandy and Grandma Shannon.

Then I picked up our favorite babysitter, so the adults could go out to dinner. She had a little valentines card all made up with candy attached for the kids. And I thought, I just love this girl. I hope I can find a babysitter as good as her in Arizona. And that felt, final. She tended my children marvelously, helping Carter glue together his hippo Valentine, popping them popcorn, getting them in their jammies. I was jubilant when I came home to 3 happy kids. And I wondered again if anyone could replace Ariel.

When the babysitter was gone and dessert eaten we took a couple pictures, and then said goodbye to my in-laws. I swallowed hard, so I wouldn't cry. And we watched them climb into the car and drive away. And it felt, final.

On Sunday, Hannah gave her first talk in primary. She was amazing. We spent two days prepping her telling her to talk nice and loud into the microphone. Boy and how, that wasn't a problem. She spoke perfectly clear, mouth right up on the micro-phone and it was SO loud that several kids were plugging their ears and I'm 99 percent sure you could hear it all the way down the hall. I laughed, because it was darling.

Mr Robinson wrote the talk. It was about how the Priesthood blesses our family. It felt appropriate. And I sat there watching my righteous husband whisper the words of her talk into Hannah's ear, and it made me think about how empty it will feel in our house when he is gone. About what a blessing he is. About how I only had one Sunday left with him. And it felt, final.

Today, my fabulous family drove down to hang out with me. It was, just so nice. When Mr. Robinson got home from work, we went to eat at the Olive Garden, our favorite restaurant. We ate and talked and snapped pictures on our phones. My big sister figured out how to use my phone for me. The we got our coats on and went outside. And I watched my family say goodbye to my husband. And this time when I swallowed hard it didn't stop the cry. And my Dad gave me a big hug and told me they would take care of me when my sweetheart was gone.

So we got in our car and drove home, and I held his hand and thought about how much I want to enjoy every second of the next 7 days with him. Because when he goes, he's gone. Until I can join him. And that feels so, final.

daughter of mine.

After I finished sterilizing the house for the kagillionth time this afternoon, in preparation for a showing tonight, I sat down on my rocking chair in my bedroom. My back was hurting, my skin dry, and worn through from cleaner, and my spirits a little tired. My door opened and Hannah walked into my room, and right over to me. She wrapped her little arms around me and said "I just wanted to tell you that I love you so much."

Now that makes life worthwhile.

push and shove people... rush the door.

Call me crazy but passing a "stimulus bill" wracked with pork-barrel spending and liberal agendas just doesn't seem like a good idea to me. And if the American people are STUPID (sorry about the mean word) enough to let it pass without stopping to look at it closer because they are too scared, then maybe they deserve to be soaked with debt. Except it's not just them, it'll be their children, and grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Do you know what's really going on here? They are lumping every liberal agenda for the past 40 years into one "economic stimulus bill" hoping that we're all just too ignorant to see all the CRAP (and I don't use that word lightly) attached to it. And then hurry it along with fear mongering so that no one will take a closer look.

50 million for the National Endowment for the Arts. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? If someone can please explain how THAT will stimulate the economy, I'm all ears.


Sell panic somewhere else, Mr. President. We're all stocked up here.

Read all about it here.

Souper Easy Taco Soup Recipe

I made this little gem for dinner tonight. So easy. Good. And requires ingredients that I can mostly scrounge up at the last second. Also, my kids will wolf this thing down. Always a plus.

1lbs ground beef (browned)
1 16 oz jar picante sauce
1 can corn (undrained)
1 can black beans (undrained)
1 can kidney beans (undrained)
1 can ranch style beans (basically don't drain anything)
1 can diced tomatoes

Put it in a BIG pot. Stir, and let it simmer for a couple hours(or turn the heat up and make it a couple minutes). Serve with cheese, sour cream, and tortilla chips.

Oh my, delish.

Just a thought:

Waiting for Craig to leave in two weeks is kind of like falling off a cliff in slow motion. It just keeps getting closer, a little too fast. And I know it's going to hurt when it does get here, so bad that it already kind of hurts. And I really hate it that I have NO IDEA when I'll be joining him. Ug. Ug Ug.

On a lighter note...

We did go and get new cell phones today, and I'm in love with mine. (it's a palm... I'm so techno-y. It even has a touch screen- eek) My old cell's battery belongs in a museum (next to the phone) and it will be nice to talk for longer than 5 minutes before it starts beeping at me. Especially considering that my hubby will be 700 miles away from me. Oh there I go again, UG.

My kids were the definition of perfection in the cell phone store. And we were there for almost 3 hours. That, my friends is a miracle.

I just need one more. Pray, friends, that our house sells. Pray for me.

I am taking my kids to the park today.

"What can . . . young mother[s] [do] . . . to reduce the pressure [of raising young children] and enjoy [their families] more? . . . "Recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction. "Author Anna Quindlen reminds us not to rush past the fleeting moments. She said: 'The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.'"

M. Russell Ballard

Guiltess Thursday: Mini Project

Most of guiltless Thursday was spent in the Temple, so I put the aprons on hold for yet another week. I feel like it was a pretty good cause. Although I have NEVER seen a temple that busy. It was pretty cool to see people lining up for a temple session like it was the most popular ride in Disneyland. I had to wait an hour to get in.

Consequently, I got home much too late to pull out my little Minnie sewing machine. Here instead is a mini- project. Wall letters for my boys' room.

I found this fabulous vintagey WWII airplane poster when we were at Disneyland, which I thought, was PERFECT for my little men. Their room is decorated in BI-planes. Anyways, I brought it back from California and hung it up in their room, but something was missing. (see exhibit 1)

It didn't looked finished. So I decided to do some old fashioned looking wall lettering with the words FLY BOYS. I'm pretty sure that's what they called pilots back then-- and well even if they didn't, it works for me...(so please don't tell me if I'm wrong okay)

I bought the appropriate letters at where else, Roberts-- I found a set that looked kind of like old typewriter writing. I thought they were perfect.

Then I painted them an antiqued white, and sprayed on a pecan stain, to give them a kind of faded/aged look.

Now came the problem of attaching them to the wall. I didn't want to hang them all individually because I wanted them to look more like a set. Anyways, I came up with the idea of a leather strap, to kind of play off the old fashioned airplane thing. Well, thick leather straps can get ridiculously expensive. But no fear. A quick trip to the DI produced a used leather belt (which had the PERFECT worn look) for $1.50. Yeah. Can't beat that.

I cut the belt using an exacto razor blade. And then put rivets in the belt by digging out holes and using decorative rivets and my rivet tool. (easier said than done in leather) But I thought they really finished the strap, plus they gave me something to hang it up with.

I hot glued the letters on, and voila! Done.

I hung it up over the poster, and I think it adds a nice touch. The best part? It was CHEAP! The letters were 88 cents a piece, the belt was 1.50$ and I already had the paint, stain and rivets. Less than 10$. Can't beat that.

I promise... next week I am finishing those aprons!

change.

The one thing I'm learning is, that about the only thing life guarantees is change. I watch the manifestation of it every morning when I wake up and see that magically my children have grown bigger, cuter, and more brilliant. And here it goes again. Changing.

So for a while now, we've known that something needed to change. Specifically with Craig's career. If you don't change jobs after a few years, you get pigeon-holed in engineering. So about six months ago we started looking for a new job. And then the economy went free fall into a nose dive. Nice.

We kept applying though, and for some reason I felt calm about it.

I felt calm because I already had a feeling about where we were going. And I wasn't really sure why.

So we applied to a lot of different jobs all over the country, and prayed that the right one would work out. And then we waited. Because that's what you do when you are looking for a job. Wait, and pray. And after a couple months the interviews started coming in. And Craig had a really good interview, in the place I knew we were going. But it didn't work out. And other ones started coming in, but they weren't where I thought we were going. And I kept telling Craig that I felt so confused because I just really thought we were going to this certain place.

And so we prayed a lot. And waited some more. And then an offer came. And miracle of all it was in the place I knew it would be. But we weren't sure it was the right job. hmf. So they flew Craig down, and he took a look around, and do you know what? It was better than we had hoped for. The area was perfect, and gorgeous. The company, the boss, the coworkers, the job-- fabulous. Craig was so jazzed. And so was I. So we accepted, and I felt good about it. Because change is good.


And we put our house on the market. In the worst economy since the depression. Ug.


More unsurity ahead. And to be honest, I've had a lot of anxiety. Craig leaves at the end of February whether we've sold or not. And I'm here until we sell. (Anyone who knows me, knows that Cori without Craig doesn't work so well) So the idea that I could be alone, at home with three children for indefinite amounts of time... well, it kind of freaked me out.

But last weekend when I was sitting in the temple I had the most overwhelming feeling of calm. Our lives are in God's hands. The job, and the timing has all been a miracle. It was His will that we got this job, and so I know that everything will work out alright. We just have to wait.


Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

Psalms 27:14


And so I wait for the right family to walk through our home, and fall in love, and want to buy it, just the way we did, and I know they will.

And I look forward to warm air, and clear skies...


In sunny Arizona.

Mesa, Arizona.

My new home, almost.