If you've ever heard of Jack Handey's deep thoughts you're going to love this. If you haven't, I'm sorry.
-this one's for Kaisa, I'm reliving EFY here:
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.
-this one's for Meghan:
Here's a good joke to do during an earthquake: Straddle a big crack in the earth, and if it opens wider, go, "Whoa! Whoa!" and flail your arms around, as if you're going to fall in.
These are for the rest of you, enjoy:
To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other.
If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.
It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money.
Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.
If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like now.
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights,even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.
One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run with wooden stakes.
-Hope you all enjoyed that... I know I did :)
Friday, May 30, 2008
Deep Thoughts
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6 comments:
Thank you for one of the best flashbacks of all time. Do you know hard we laughed when we bought the book at EFY? SO HARD. and I loved that you remembered that one for me......"and also, you're drunk". HILARIOUS. I love you and miss you!!!!!!!!!!!
Here's my favorite:
"When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmm, boy!"
i totally remember reading this book in the big,upstairs bedroom of your elk grove house laughing our heads off. how wonderful that we all had the same sense of humor!
Cori...I almost forgot that that little weird, crazy, random, and, oh did I say hilarious book existed. I just remember straddling the big tires at the park while flailing my arms over my head and shouting "whoa...whoa...whoa..." the entire time just adjacent from you doing the same. Thanks for the dedication, and for remembering something so perfectly funny that almost ceased to exist in my mind, that would have been a shame.
Funny you should mention EFY. When I was a counselor way back in 1999, I would read a couple of Deep Thoughts to the group right before scripture study, you know, to bring the spirit...
Here's a good one:
"Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up."
i use to LOVE these. saturday night live isn't as good as it use to be.
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